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� In this diary, I record my life as a transvestite. Perhaps it will help somebody else, who finds their lifestyle doesn't quite match that endorsed by the 'tranny mafia'. Well, I've been there... and survived. The debriefing starts here.

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�hates: Microsoft. Obviously.

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Lynn Jones
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What the Google?
3:11 p.m. -- 2010-04-14

I love the lunacy of the Internet. I love how randomly chaotic it is; how a search engine can teleport you into a world that you never knew existed. (Which is how I found Diaryland in the first place, I suppose.)

My latest piece of Internet what-the-fuckery is the website of Sharkhunters International, Incorporated.

Now, fortunately, they don't actually hunt sharks. The poor old shark has enough hassle from mankind, if you ask me. No: but Sharkhunters International still strike me as the kind of folks who ought to be locked up somewhere.

Why? Because they're clearly delusional - living in a dream-world where they think they'll be able to sell you a twenty-dollar mug featuring a portrait of a U-boat commander on one side, and a copy of his vessel's emblem on the other. For example:

(There are seventy-three different ones to choose from.) Quite what mugs have to do with submarines is not explained. Although if mugs are not your thing and you would prefer to have a wearable celebration of the career of a highly-decorated Nazi, such that you can show it off while outside the house, they'll also pop the same images on a teeshirt for you, for twenty-five bucks.

Or a mouse mat. Quite what the mouse (invented in 1963) has to do with Second World War submariners is equally unclear. Although I suppose you can use your mouse to click on the button that allows you to order two CDs ($15 each) featuring interviews with with Horst Degen, skipper of U-701... or similar.

As Garfield once said, "It's amazing the things some people would rather have, instead of money."

Gawd, I love the Internet. I love its power to bring people together. And I love the way it gives me a chance to ridicule a bunch of fuckheads who believe that Adolf Hitler survived the Second World War, and escaped justice. (He'd be a hundred and twenty-one if he were alive today, boys. Better get yourselves another hobby.)

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