Rise of the Retail Nazis
9:57 a.m. -- 2009-11-18
If you�re a regular reader of Stepfordtart�s blog (and if not, you should be), you will have seen this entry, describing an encounter with a supervisor at a branch of Superdrug .
In fact, given what transpired, I think we might as well rephrase that, since the hag in question was clearly anything but super. So, it was a crapvisor, at Crapdrug. Okay. Just... go and read the article, okay?
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Back already? Great. I wanted to comment on this, but I thought it best to do so in a blog entry of my own. For one thing, my response is a bit wordy. For another, it�s to do with links, publicity and search engines. A comment on Stepfordtart�s own blog probably wouldn�t do much good (or damage, rather) but if I write a separate entry about how the Nazis appear to have established a beachhead in Eastleigh, it might help the original story to reach a wider audience.
So, Ms. Tart and her daughter find themselves at a display featuring numerous part-used makeup products, and assume they�re testers. Nazi Supervisor Woman disagrees, choosing this particular instant to harangue her customers, despite having failed to enforce the �rule� on prior occasions. When Ms. Tart apologises, pointing out (in her defence) that the policy is by no means clear, and doesn�t appear to be very realistic or consistent, this is met with rudeness.
Okay, so Superdrug doesn�t attract the best staff in the world, and some are worse than others, and maybe Eastleigh Superdrug is the worst of all, and she went there on a bad day, like maybe it�s the anniversary of Hermann G�ring�s death, or something. I have no idea. But here�s where the story turns nasty:
Nazi Supervisor Hag Woman hasn�t finished. She waits until our heroine and her daughter have finished their shopping, and paid for their purchases... then she intercepts them at the exit, and accuses them of shoplifting. Ms. Tart and a very frightened daughter are taken to a back room and required to empty out their bags and pockets.
At this point in the story, I was worried. Remember, we�re dealing with Nazi Hag Woman: the person who claims that a part-used eyeshadow pencil is stock, apparently suitable for retail. If either of her two victims have a single, used eyeshadow pencil in their handbag, that could be �evidence� for a trumped-up charge.
Fortunately, nothing is found. There was nothing to find. Apparently, a customer had witnessed the theft, and alerted the staff, who were then duty-bound to investigate. This, of course, is classic bad management technique. Everybody knows that �there has been a complaint� really means �you�re pissing me off, but I don�t have the balls to admit that,� right? So a fictional customer (or two; the supervisor�s story is a little inconsistent) reported this theft, and then disappeared, as did the stolen items, apparently.
Nazi Supervisor Hag Woman, stop humming the Horst Wessel Song and pay attention: you picked the wrong victim. The articulate and ballsy Stepfordtart isn�t afraid of you, and doesn�t need to steal your low-end greasepaint. But a person like Nazi Supervisor Hag Woman doesn�t just play mind-games like this game once; I bet she�s done it before. What if her next victim is a less gifted communicator, or has learning disabilities? What if she decides to plant some evidence next time? What if (when using the stock-room as a place to search the accused) somebody finds a stray makeup product on the floor? And in any event, you shouldn�t try to show a parent up in front of their kids. You just shouldn�t. It�s wrong, whatever personal animosity you might feel.
I have to admit, I have no idea where Eastleigh is. Apparently, it�s in Hampshire, but all I know about Hampshire is that hurricanes hardly ever happen there. (Thank you, Eliza.) My boycott of that particular store won�t exactly show up on their balance sheet, therefore.
I note that the Eastleigh branch shows up on Google Maps though, and offers the intriguing possibility of writing a review. Or you could just send a postcard to 1a Market St, Eastleigh, Hampshire, SO50 5RJ. (�Weather is here... wish you were lovely?�)
For extra credit, call them on 0238 061 2885 and claim to be a journalist from the Daily Echo, the Hampshire Chronicle, the Sun...? You�re �going to run the Stepfordtart story anyway,� and you�re �just inviting the supervisor to put her side of events first.� (Classic gutter journo phrases.)
That might cost the bitch some sleep.
Sorry, Stepfordtart. It�s really none of my business, but I�m a cyberspace vigilante at heart, and I hope you don�t settle for a standard grovelling letter and some poxy Crapdrug vouchers.
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