Self defence basics
9:25 a.m. -- 2009-04-24
This isn't really anything to do with my normal blogging subject matter, but it's important... so please excuse this time-out. Enfinblue's latest entry mentioned a time when she was attacked in her apartment... and that made me really angry.
I suspect that my revulsion towards violence of this kind is magnified by my fence-sitting position. I've been raised to be a gentleman, which requires that I am polite to women, and defend them... and at the same time, my slightly screwed-up gender identity gives me a certain amount of empathy for the female position.
I've been attacked a few times in the past. Random acts of violence, robbery, that kind of thing. So I guess it happens to us all. I'm certain it's a complex mish-mash of issues including mental illness, bullying, criminality, sex and sexuality... I can't solve these things. But I wanted to do a little something - if I can - to make you safer. So I've written some suggestions about what to do if you're attacked. I'll leave alone the general being sensible stuff, like not accepting drinks that may have been tampered with, thinking about where you park and so on. Instead, I've tried to create a short shortlist of things to remember when it's all going wrong.
First off: people are more important than things. Little in life is worth dying for. If somebody says they want your bag, or jewelry or car keys... say "OK!" But don't approach them to hand the item(s) over. Throw the item, so that they have to move away from you to retrieve it. That way, you've maybe ended the encounter, or at least got some distance. Walk away, get to somewhere where there are other people, and report the crime. And if the robber doesn't go for the item when you throw it, then at least you know where you stand... and your hands are empty, which makes defending yourself easier.
If your home is being robbed, call out to the intruder - while you're in a different room. Don't surprise them. Say you just want to leave. They may well let you! And if so... get out and stay away until the police arrive. (If you have a house full of children, this may be less of an option... have you talked with the other adults in the house, and worked out a plan?)
Never start a fight if one can be avoided, but if it becomes unavoidable, do some damage! The human body is literally covered with sensitive or vulnerable spots, and 'finding' just one of them can end a fight. If you're interested, I could send you a list. For example, place a finger between your top lip and your nostrils, as if you were about to sneeze. Now press on the base of the nose, up and backwards. Hurts, doesn't it? And that's just with one finger. If you're being held, face to face, and you push there with all your strength... you won't be held for long.
Knowing all these sensitive spots, the idea is to protect your own, while dealing out some damage to your attacker's ones. Some of these are obvious; some are less well known.
If your mind goes blank, and you can't remember a long list of vulnerable spots (I've had them drummed into me during endless martial arts lessons...), just remember this:
Eyes... crotch... bite.
If you've been grabbed by somebody, try to poke them in an eye or two. As hard as you like. This is no time to be nice. Failing that, a sharp blow between the legs will work against an attacker of either gender. And it doesn't have to come from your knee. Punch. Use an elbow. Grab and squeeze. Never give up! And if you're held closely... bite. Anywhere at all. A bite hurts like hell - and leaves your attacker with a distinguishing mark that could bring them to justice, later.
If you've been grabbed but you're not actually in a fight... how's your play-acting? Pretend you're about to throw up. That convulsing thing, with bulging eyes and some horrible noises in your throat. There aren't many people on the planet who will continue holding you if they think you're about to vomit on them.
When you've won some distance, keep calm, and keep your balance. Both feet firmly on the ground, left leg forward (assuming you're right-handed). Hands clenched and raised between you and the attacker, at about chin level. This is a good basic defensive stance, and quite hard to get through. Also, it implies you know what you're doing, and that alone can make a lot of bullies give up. Meanwhile, you're delaying matters, and they'll be worried that somebody will come and investigate all the noise (make as much noise as you can...) and they may decide to go away, and find easier prey.
If your attacker produces a knife... turn your palms towards yourself, so you don't expose a major blood vessel. The back of your wrists and hands can be slashed at repeatedly, and it won't do you any lasting damage. Obviously, try to move away if you can. There are some highly effective defenses against knife attacks... but you aren't going to learn them off a website. Consider taking a self-defense class. It's not all bull-necked nutters that practice sports of this kind. I'm a complete wimp, but I found it to be highly enjoyable, and with a great sense of belonging.
Even if the worst happens, and you're cornered... never, ever go with them. Even if they've got a knife at your throat or a gun pointed at you, refuse to go anywhere. Don't get in a vehicle. Cling to a lamppost. Shout! Or pretend to faint: few people are strong enough to move a limp human body, and they certainly can't do it on their own and hold a weapon at the same time. Remember: your chances of survival are drastically reduced if you allow yourself to be taken to a second crime scene, of their choosing. Sorry... but that's the way it is. You would be better off taking your chances where you are, than allowing yourself to become one of the 'disappeared'.
If you're thinking about using a weapon, produce it early. Shout one warning, and then use it. Don't wait until they're too close. And if you're going to buy a weapon, get lessons in its use, too. Otherwise you'll probably just escalate matters without solving them.
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I wish the world was a safer place. You don't deserve this shit, and I'm really sorry that you have to think about it at all. But it's probably best that you do. And the best way to remember something, when it counts, is to teach it. So I suggest that if you agree with the advice presented here, you talk it over with your loved ones.
Stay safe.
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