In Response to 'The Wives' Bill of Rights'
8:42 a.m. -- 2008-07-21
The Wives' Bill of Rights was written by Frances Fairfax, and first published in 1994. Names can be confusing in the trannyverse, so I should explain that Frances is a genuine female, and the wife of a transvestite. The twelve points that she wrote are reproduced below. I originally found this document a couple of weeks ago, and I read it with a growing sense of annoyance. As a result, I have added some comments of my own, in italics.
1. We have the right to know about our husbands' crossdressing, preferably before marriage, but certainly when our husbands begin to make crossdressing a significant factor in their lives and wish to contact support groups.
Fair enough. It seems like one of those 'if anybody knows of just cause or impediment...' things. If hubby hasn't spoken out by then, perhaps he should 'forever hold his peace'.
It occurs to me that you will know, within a very short time, if he starts contacting support groups... because he'll be coming into contact with people who will assure him that he should (a) come out to you, or (b) shave his legs.
2. We have the right to honest and open communication with our husbands, with negotiation and compromise on both sides, particularly in regard to allocation of family resources and in matters pertaining to telling our children. Old patterns of selfishness and deception must cease.
Honesty is laudable, but he may not fully understand himself, still less be able to express the complex mixture of emotions and motivations he's feeling. Particularly given the recent 'hit' of tranny heroin he's received, in coming out to you. In other words, he's going to be babbling a lot of things, at times, and some of them will be what he thinks you want to hear.
"Old patterns of selfishness and deception" hint at a particular problem in the Fairfax household, and should maybe be tackled as such.
3. We have the right not be be pushed to "accept" things before we have had time to learn enough about them and to begin to get used to them.
No. You have the right not to accept things ever. Why concede that there is something inevitable about all this? Don't your own wishes count for anything? (Admittedly, this was published in 'Sweetheart Connection', and the Tranny Mafia wouldn't have let it go to print if it wasn't pro-tranny. Still... grow some backbone, love!)
4. We have the right to our husbands as men, the men we married, men who maintain a positive, healthy masculinity while "exploring their femininity" and seek neither to evade responsibilities nor to appropriate our own feminine roles.
5. We have the right to our husbands' masculine male bodies. Neither partner in a marriage has the right to alter body features without the full knowledge and consent of the other.
Yup. You have needs, and evolution has programmed you to look for certain traits. Your partner should not be allowed to eradicate them. He must understand that his crude parody of femininity may be offensive to you. (What does it say about his respect for you, if he always wants to put on a dress before he does some housework?)
Plus you need to be the sexy one, at least sometimes, and you need to be the mother if there are children. Defend your turf, girl!
The "alteration of body features" sounds like you might have a transsexual on your hands... if we're talking about permanent changes. And if so, does that really belong in a wives' bill of rights? Most transsexuals get divorced, for obvious reasons.
6. We have the right to support groups for ourselves that promote our own personal growth and well-being, help us understand our husbands' needs, and provide tools for relationship-building.
It should be recognised that the support you need could come from any quarter, and not necessarily from a source authorised by the Tranny Mafia. Maybe go for something impartial?
7. We have the right to support groups for our husbands that encourage their feminine development without denigrating healthy masculinity, that welcome us as full members on an equal basis with our husbands, and that fully support relationship commitments.
Encouraging their feminine development is all very well, but in my experience, this led to my being drawn further into the cross-dressing scene than I actually needed to go. And any gathering of cross-dressers erodes masculinity, because too many people in the scene have a simplistic view of gender expression. Many seem to rank themselves in a social hierarchy where those who are pushing the envelope (say, having electrolysis or attending work while cross-dressed) have more social capital. Those who are less convincing or less committed are looked down upon, or encouraged to go further. For example, an early step is that they'll be encouraged to get their ears pierced. In such small ways, masculinity (by current social standards) is eroded.
8. We have the right not be mocked and demeaned by sexually explicit or otherwise offensive conversation, dress and behavior at group meetings.
You should have these rights around the clock, regardless of where you are.
9. We have the right not to be pressured to attend group gatherings at public locations, night clubs, or other places that pose security risks.
No. You have the right to stay home, or go and do some completely unrelated thing of your choosing, for any reason. You don't have to be involved with his cross-dressing at all, if you don't want to be. And you shouldn't feel that any act of acceptance (such as attending a meeting) obliges you to do so regularly, or ever again.
10. We have the right to be asked for our permission before our clothes, make-up, jewelry or other personal items are borrowed.
I would have put 'We have the right to refuse to share any personal items, without any ill feeling.'
11. We have the right to personal time in which to get in touch with our own femininity, pursue our personal growth and work on creative projects.
Sounds like a pretty bad marriage, if you can't have this.
12. We have the right to expect local, regional and national gender organizations and conventions to fully support and promote these rights in their programs and policies.
I'm sure the Tranny Mafia will support and promote the Bill of Rights, because it's almost entirely gutless. I think this is very foolish of them, because encouraging wives to capitulate to the needs of the cross-dresser must sow the seeds of resentment and unhappiness. Marriage and home life could offer a constant point of reference to the gender-confused, and help them chart a healthy and happy course through their life... but not if you allow the home to be submerged beneath the flood.
In my humble opinion, of course.
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