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� In this diary, I record my life as a transvestite. Perhaps it will help somebody else, who finds their lifestyle doesn't quite match that endorsed by the 'tranny mafia'. Well, I've been there... and survived. The debriefing starts here.

�loves: All kinds of stuff that society thinks I shouldn't.

�hates: Microsoft. Obviously.

�reads:
secret-motel
artgnome
enfinblue
stepfordtart
ten-oclock
boombasticat
lawliiet
annanotbob
fifidellabon
my-serenade

Lynn Jones
Becky
Samantha

Be honest!
12:14 1.m. -- 2008-06-21

When you decide to become a transvestite (hah!) your work is only just beginning. So you fancy dressing yourself up as a girl, do you? Well... what kind? There are many different tribes within the transvestite movement, and quite frankly, they're at war! There are ponygirls (gender females as well, of course), those who are primarily interested in rubber, or PVC, or leather... adult babies, maskers, exhibitionists... who knows what else?

The standard Tranny Mafia image is one of girls in artistic poses, draped on a bed in a hotel room... maybe a foray into the back garden, or having a household pet join them for a snap. You also see lots of professional shots from a commercial makeover session. (Which is a bit like shopping at Next: when you get the stuff home, it just never seems to look quite as good, somehow.)

That's all fine, but that's actually only one movement within the 'scene'.

Let's be honest: crossdressing is a fetish. It's "the sexual attraction to materials and objects not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature." In other words, you can show as many pictures as you like of 'girls' drinking, dancing the night away and generally having a good day out... but (and I will concede this MIGHT be happening in an entirely different segment of the trannysphere) there is also a sexual element.

Some crossdressers - and I suspect most - do it because it's erotic.

Of course, the internet is already sufficiently full of sleaze without all the 'nice' transvestites adding explicit photos and blogging about how good their masturbation felt after they tried on that new corset...

But herein lies the problem. By seeking to establish an aura of respectability for the transvestite (the more sensitive partner, bonus extra girlfriend, shopping buddy for wives and girlfriends), the Tranny Mafia did me a great dis-service.

You see, I'm a fetishistic transvestite. For me, dressing up is foreplay. Give me some nice new undies to slip into, and I get turned on. I want to cum. Sometimes that's involved a sexual activity with a female partner, and sometimes I've been alone. In either case: once it's over, I'm through with being girly for a while.

I don't feel the need to have a 'softer side' for more than those few minutes. I very rarely spend more than half an hour dressed. There is no Mrs. Hyde to this Dr. Jekyl... as far as I can tell.

The Tranny Mafia never let me know that my kind of fetish existed. Based on the kind of messages you see on T* websites and blogs, you'd think I was in a sordid minority... but now I'm not so sure I am. Unfortunately, back in 1994 when I was new at all this, I believed their side of things, and tried to be a respectable t*girl. I chose a fem-name, bought some dresses and tried to spend some 'quality time' as a girl.

This led my significant other to think that I was a transsexual. Suddenly, she wasn't just buying me the occasional lipstick or pair of stockings; she was having conversations with the other 'me', and getting a bit freaked out. It wasn't doing me any good, either.

What I'm trying to say is: if it's just a kink... if all you want is to pop on a bra and some stockings and suspenders for a nice hand job... then go for it. And it's a lot easier to ask a girlfriend for this than to ask her to call you Minerva. (Which wasn't the fem-name I chose, in case you were wondering!)

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