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� In this diary, I record my life as a transvestite. Perhaps it will help somebody else, who finds their lifestyle doesn't quite match that endorsed by the 'tranny mafia'. Well, I've been there... and survived. The debriefing starts here.

�loves: All kinds of stuff that society thinks I shouldn't.

�hates: Microsoft. Obviously.

�reads:
secret-motel
artgnome
enfinblue
stepfordtart
ten-oclock
boombasticat
lawliiet
annanotbob
fifidellabon
my-serenade

Lynn Jones
Becky
Samantha

Depression
9:45 a.m. -- 2009-02-23

Recession, depression... what's the difference? The PM got criticised for saying 'depression' and said it was a slip of the tongue, but I hope to God that we are in an economic depression.

Think about it linguistically: being in a depression means you're at the bottom. Being in a recession means you're still on the way down.

Times are hard. People are being laid off by the thousand in big companies. Three and a half thousand at Corus (British Steel to you and I), ten thousand at British Telecom, over two thousand at Virgin Media and the same at the Royal Bank of Scotland... and so on.

It makes me feel quite unreasonable for mentioning my own woes. Little me: just one job to lose.

It's five months since I made a deal to secure some work for myself. Not on particularly advantageous terms, but it was work and I've been glad to have had it in these difficult times.

That contract ends with the month of February, and after that, I have... nothing.

I've got some money still to come, and a debt to collect, but I really don't have any work to be doing, this time next week. I don't like the idea of doing nothing, but I haven't been able to generate any significant interest or enthusaism from anybody I've done business with before. And fair enough: they've got their own people to worry about.

Just my own little version of a story that's being played out all over the world at the moment. It sucks to feel so helpless, and hopeless.

To be a qualified, able-bodied person who wants to work, and to be facing so much uncertainty... seems unfair. Even while it's unreasonable to expect any different, when so many people have already been laid off.

But the depression doesn't just exist on a spreadsheet at Number 11 Downing Street; it's in our hearts.

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