Confessions of a part-time girl

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
9:30 a.m. -- 2008-08-22

There is quite a bit of debate going on in the Trannyverse at the moment, following a blog entry by 'Becky', who described a reduced motivation to cross-dress, and how the "expression of Becky became diluted". The full, tranny social life was described as a fine line, upon which one cannot stay indefinitely. Some move beyond the line, into transsexualism, and others slip back into relative inactivity, even apathy.

This has stirred up an awful lot of comments from the rest of the tranny community, perhaps for two reasons. Firstly, Becky was (like it or not) our unofficial spokestranny. An articulate, witty person with a knack for putting into words exactly how a lot of us were feeling... and with the courage to stand up and be counted. How many other cross-dressers would give an interview to their local newspaper? (And have the good sense to end up with a very positive article, that is.)

But now it seems that 'Becky' is drifting into semi-retirement, and that's a great shame. Simon described how he has mourned the loss of 'Becky', and a lot of his readers are also saddened at the thought of having to party on without the vivacious 'Becky'. I had an inkling that things were headed this way, just from the reduced frequency of updates at Beckysweb.

The impending loss of our high priestess is the first reason. The second is that any talk of ceasing to cross-dress (or at least, doing it less, or less openly) is news that a lot of folks don't want to hear. For decades, the Tranny Mafia has been saying that transvestic urges are something you can't stop. That wives and girlfriends are just going to have to learn to deal with the fact that their man has these needs... and so on.

If you'd asked me thirteen years ago, I would have parroted that line, too. Learned direct from Tranny Mafia headquarters, via a number of incredibly biased 'self help' books.

I now understand that it is simple - and natural - to find a much more comfortable self-image once the mad years of teenage hormones and then college-age lust are left behind. This is true for the gender-confused, although I imagine that 'normal' folks are no less tormented by self-doubt at the time.

Certainly, the transvestite deeply regrets all the things he thinks he's missed out on, such as youthful holidays spent wearing a bikini at the beach... indulging in girls' talk... having sleep-overs... being a gorgeous bride... but the rebellion against simple fact cannot last forever. Neither do summer holidays, teen years nor wedding days last a lifetime. Even good looks don't last forever, and part-time girls like me suffer particularly badly in this regard, although there was some fun along the way.

Eventually, unless you really are gender dysphoric (and heading for a sex change), the need to cross-dress falls away.

This has been the elephant in the room for rather too long. Nobody has really described how their urge to cross-dress fades, and yet (as I have commented before) there are old transvestites, and there are bold transvestites... but there are no old, bold transvestites. Seven years in the limelight seems to be an absolute maximum for the cross-dressing diva; most manage far less. But then, who posts messages on forums about things they don't do? Who blogs about hobbies they no longer enjoy? Or gives interviews? There's no such thing as a Flickr photostream for former transvestites... because straight-dressed ex-transvestites are just ordinary people.

In other words, the 'phenomenon of the disappearing tranny' has never really been documented. It's something that I have tried to describe in this blog, but 'Becky' makes a better job of it... as usual.

Some of the folks who have commented on that blog entry are a little bit upset. I think it's rather like the way that friends can be nasty to you when you give up smoking: your quitting is an implicit criticism of something that they still enjoy (or at least, still do). Their argument is something along the lines of "you'll be back..."

I think not. But even as friends and fans mourn the fact that 'Becky' is slipping away, we should be happy. Nobody died; they just changed. Change is healthy, natural and inevitable. I've gone a long way through that metamorphosis myself, and I'm stronger, happier and safer.

You, dear tranny, could be next.

In any event, we'll still have hamster sudoku.

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