What the experts say
8:33 a.m. -- 2008-07-10
I've been reading about my 'condition'. At times like this, I have to acknowledge that my data is statistically insignificant, coming from just one case: mine. So, all the reactions I give here are based on my understanding of cross-dressing. Which is all that any of us can say really. Unless you're a mental health professional, perhaps.
Even mental health practitioners only see a skewed sample, because they meet the transvestites who can't cope.
Anyway, who can say what is normal, and what isn't? Aren't those terms more than a little subjective? Well, society determines what constitutes 'normal' and 'acceptable'. When you start to wonder what is sane, right, or fair, you can only really go with the majority verdict. And the majority says that a man is odd if he wants to pursue a female appearance. That's not homophobia, or hatred... not for the majority... it's just a visceral reaction that says 'yuck!'
Lots of people are unusual, in one way or another. Only a small fraction of them end up seeing a shrink, and among them are the transvestites who are tormented by self-loathing and other such destructive feelings. Unfortunately, because it is these people who come to the attention of the medical profession, the books and articles that are published reflect the problematic, troubled end of the transgender spectrum.
Material such as this can end up falling into the hands of a transvestite's partner, as she searches for information and help... and she ends up thinking that her husband is a complete nutball.
I, on the other hand (armed with my statistically insignificant single case study) maintain that cross-dressing is only a cause for concern if it is excessive, intrusive, or constantly chosen in preference to other social or intimate opportunities. In other words, don't try to push the transvestite towards medical assistance if he just wants to wear a frock from time to time.
Still, I have written before about the propaganda of the Tranny Mafia; their celebration of the pseudofeminine, and the way a good wife should reach an accommodation with the cross-dresser. I believe this to be bad because (sample size of one, here...) it did me some harm, back when I was with Lucy. It put pressure on both of us to follow a pre-ordained path, and it turned out to be a path that neither of us wanted to go down.
So, if we turn away from the Tranny Mafia, what can professionals (who apply the scientific method) tell us about the psychology of being a transvestite, cross-dresser, drag queen, t-girl, tranny, deviant, pervert... whatever you want to call me.
Well, here goes. The sections in quotes are taken from various factual, scientific articles about transvestism. In each case, I include a little response, based on my own experiences.
Being a transvestite means I have... "a (light) form of Gender Identity Disorder."
Oh, great, I have 'fetish lite', the alcohol-free, low-sugar option? Actually, I'm very pleased to say that I don't hate myself, and I'm not hugely discontented with the gender I ended up with. Being a male is good in many ways; no periods, no biological clock, not stuck on 86% of what the guy at the next desk earns... yeah, guys have all the luck. And still I get to wear nice lingerie!
Transvestism is... "a paraphilia of the fetishistic/talismanic type in which sexuoerotic arousal and facilitation or attainment of orgasm are responsive to, and dependent upon wearing clothing, especially underwear, of the other sex..."
Well... maybe. I'm pleased to see the sex angle being described, because so many trannies seem reluctant to admit that it makes them feel sexy. But "dependent upon wearing clothing..."? No way. I'm perfectly capable of getting and maintaining an erection while kissing and cuddling, with no girlie underwear in sight. I suppose that what we have here is not a simple yes/no issue, but a scale. The people who actually need lingerie to get turned on will be found at a different point on that scale. Up at the 'odd' end. Sorry - but to me it seems odd.
"The syndrome is believed to occur predominantly in men, and seldom, if ever, in women."
That's because nobody bats an eyelid when they see a woman wearing trousers, or a tie. We see a woman working as a motor mechanic and we just think she's spunky and interesting. So they never need to develop a guilt complex about the boundaries they cross, and few come to the attention of psychologists.
"There is no technical term for the reciprocal paraphilic condition, namely being sexuoerotically dependent on a cross-dressed partner."
People like this are two a penny in tranny fiction! In reality, though, why would you? Cross-dressed males generally look pretty awful, to be honest. A wonky wig and a big, square jaw... large hands... yeah, it wouldn't turn me on. Cross-dressing is something you do for yourself, not your partner. Maybe a bit of enforced cross-dressing for humiliation purposes in the bondage scene... but I'm not sure that the domme would describe herself as sexuoerotically dependent on it.
But look again. "There is no technical term..." So make up a name! There may be thousands of people out there who would be only to pleased to know what to call themselves. I remember what an immense relief it was to learn the word 'transvestite' and know that I wasn't the only one.
"Estimates of the number of people that feel the urge to cross-dress range from one percent to five percent."
This refers to males, of course; women can wear what they like, nowadays. Still, up to five percent? Wow, that's a lot of people. That could be as many as one and a half million people in Britain today. Whichever way you look at it, that's a lot of bras.
I suspect a lower figure, but even towards the lower end of the range, it means nobody can say "I'm the only tranny in the village..." Unless they live in Trumpton or something. It means that there were people like me at my school, in every club or society I ever joined, and in Tesco's last night. Wow.
It's actually quite nice for a straight, white, able-bodied semi-Christian male to feel that he's a part of a misunderstood, maligned minority. Does him good, once in a while!
"Not much is known about the cause of transvestism. There is a theory that Gender Identity Disorder is caused by a disturbance in the timing or amount of the administration of hormones to the foetus during pregnancy. This would result in a child that has a body of one particular sex, and a brain of the other sex, completely or partly. The theory that it is caused by some flaw in the upbringing of the transvestite has been abandoned by most psychologists."
You mean it's not my FAULT? But... but... all these years of guilt... for nothing? What a waste of brain power. And yes, I've done the test where you measure the ratio of index finger and ring finger length. Turns out that testosterone was in short supply when I was in the womb. C'est la vie... quite literally.
"Most transvestites state that there is a feminine side to their personality that needs to be expressed through cross-dressing. Some transvestites are actually fetishists, and are turned on by feminine clothing. Most are not, however."
Oops. That puts me squarely in the minority. I tried to cultivate a feminine side to my personality, as advocated by the Tranny Mafia... and it just wasn't what I needed. I am in the fetishistic minority, to be pitied or despised by 'proper' transvestites everywhere.
"The main problem for transvestites is often shame and acceptance. Many transvestites have thrown away all their female clothes and attempted to stop cross-dressing at least once, because they feel it is a wrong thing to do or because they fear being caught. Most of them end up either very depressed or with a complete new wardrobe, because stopping is very hard."
Well, I have never 'purged', as we in the cross-dressing biz call it. Although if you have read my earlier articles, you may recall that I stopped cross-dressing for a long time. Maybe I didn't throw everything away because I knew it wouldn't make a difference. Maybe because I'm a skinflint, and maybe because I'm so pathetically attached to the gifts that Lucy bought me. I'll always have a soft spot for the girl who chose lingerie for me.
But yes, I understand that those who do 'purge' still manage to fall off the wagon. Not least because, if you're in a relationship, there's going to be girlie stuff scattered all over the house, always singing its siren song. And even if you live a monk-like existence, when the going gets tough... the girl goes shopping.
"Partners of transvestites often have a hard time accepting the transvestism as well, because they fear their partner is gay or transsexual..."
So try a test: buy him a nice bra and pants, and tell him to put them on. If he gets turned on, he's not a transsexual. It's a kink, not a basic need. Alternatively, if he likes to finish a dressing up session with a trip to 'The Blue Oyster' and he walks with a slight limp the next morning, he's gay. Othwerise, he's 'just' a transvestite. Phew(!)
Okay, possibly a little bit over-simplified there. But in my (personal, limited) experience, the urge to cross-dress disappears after orgasm. It's a sex fantasy, not a lifestyle. And you don't allow your other sex fantasies to spill over into real life, do you?
"...they're afraid of the opinion of family and friends..."
Reasonable. And if the cross-dresser in question respects his partner and/or family, I believe he'll take steps to ensure that nobody else need find out. Those who can 'pass' as female might not need to do this, but if in doubt, why not get a hotel room, and start your night on the town from there?
"See also gynemimesis; gynemimetophila; transexualism; transvestophilia."
Yeah. The medical profession loves to call a spade a manually directed soil redistribution appliance! Maybe I'll study this further, later.
I hope that this brief overview of what they say about us has been enlightening and/or amusing. Many of my readers are very shy, so I don't know if I've yet reached somebody who is directly affected by cross-dressing. But if so, I hope they have learned something useful. Somewhere between what the medical profession calls 'gender dysphoria', and what the militant elements of the Tranny Mafia call 'gender euphoria', you will find a uniquely personal equilibrium.
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