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In this diary, I record my life as a transvestite. Perhaps it will help somebody else, who finds their lifestyle doesn't quite match that endorsed by the 'tranny mafia'. Well, I've been there... and survived. The debriefing starts here.

�loves: All kinds of stuff that society thinks I shouldn't.

�hates: Microsoft. Obviously.

�reads:
secret-motel
artgnome
enfinblue
stepfordtart
ten-oclock
boombasticat
lawliiet
annanotbob
fifidellabon
my-serenade

Lynn Jones
Becky
Samantha

Tranny heroin, part III
9:21 a.m. -- 2008-06-26

I have previously described the lure of crossdressing to be something like an addiction to heroin. To be honest, I wouldn't know. I don't use illegal drugs. I can only speculate, in the same way that some readers will never have experienced the arousal that I get from wearing womens' clothes.

Women are usually baffled by cross-dressers. Many (most?) of them like pretty things. New shoes, a nice bag, a hairstyle, a dress... but their response to these things doesn't seem to be the same in its nature or scale. Furthermore, many of them will say they find some aspects of the appearance that society expects of them to be a chore. Wearing restrictive foundation garments, caring for long hair and fingernails, putting on cosmetics... who would go through all that nonsense if they didn't 'have' to?

The transvestite. To him, this ritual is satisfying, comforting or arousing. Once again, Mars and Venus fail to understand each other... even when the Martian in question is trying very hard to duplicate the essence of the Venusian.

Girly clothes make me feel sexy. The more restrictive, the better. On the rare occasions when I've worn false fingernails, I've felt wonderful. Sitting and having my hair styled by Lucy was never boring either. Quite the opposite: tranny heroin.

To a psychiatrist, this is 'transvestic fetishism' - although we should note that there are other reasons for cross-dressing. But this is my blog, and it's therefore about the transvestite enjoys these things in a sexual way. I am not a transsexual; I don't want to live full-time as a woman, nor undergo surgery. In fact, transsexuals aren't susceptible to tranny heroin. Instead, they merely feel the 'rightness' of dressing the way they feel they should, and thus react more like those who were born female.

But let me tell you: tranny heroin is good stuff. It is inexpensive, compared to many addictions (a few new cosmetics, an outfit or some underwear every now and then...) It leaves the addict able to function as an outwardly normal member of society. It need not involve any permanent damage; maybe some shaved legs or armpits that can't be shown off at the gym for a few months.

Furthermore, the dosage is variable. Sometimes it might be enough just to sleep with a pair of knickers on, under men's pyjamas. Perhaps a quick dressing-up session, while alone, that ends with masturbation. At other times, the tranny addiction might be fed by some new purchases (made on-line, or with the assistance of a female friend), or by an evening of experimentation with makeup. At the upper end of the scale, a more powerful hit of tranny heroin might be delivered by a full makeover, an outing, a weekend spent 'en-femme'... or some lovemaking while dressed. Exactly what is possible will depend on the people involved: the transvestite AND their wife or girlfriend, and anybody else (such as children) who will need to know.

It can't all be amazing, new highs all the time... but the transvestite is in the throes of an addiction, and may be unable to see this. Hopefully, a wife or girlfriend will be able to exercise some control over the dosage that is administered. (Sorry, transvestites, but...) It must be borne in mind that the transvestite is "thinking with his small head". Gripped by a powerful addiction, he may unwittingly cause his family a great deal of anguish.

Nobody really wants to experience difficulties at work, or in social situations. Nor do they want to find themselves risking a beating from some homophobic thug. But in the grip of the tranny heroin addiction, it is possible to make stupid decisions. Wives and girlfriends need to be able to say "No." Transvestites should try to understand and respect these limitations. It's not as evil as real heroin, but your addiction can still harm you and those around you.

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