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� In this diary, I record my life as a transvestite. Perhaps it will help somebody else, who finds their lifestyle doesn't quite match that endorsed by the 'tranny mafia'. Well, I've been there... and survived. The debriefing starts here.

�loves: All kinds of stuff that society thinks I shouldn't.

�hates: Microsoft. Obviously.

�reads:
secret-motel
artgnome
enfinblue
stepfordtart
ten-oclock
boombasticat
lawliiet
annanotbob
fifidellabon
my-serenade

Lynn Jones
Becky
Samantha

Tranny heroin
9:30 a.m. -- 2008-06-25

In my last post, I described how most transvestites end up speculating about their degree of 'maleness versus femaleness.'

The funny thing is, this is not a constant. A transvestite can go weeks or even months without cross-dressing, and then suddenly get the urge again. For me, this often comes during a difficult, stressful or dirty job. I'll suddenly think to myself, 'I need some girl time!'

In that sense, transvestism kicks you when you're down. At least, it does if either you or your partner are not entirely comfortable with it.

There was a time, once, when I hadn't cross-dressed for maybe two years. (Perhaps I'll explain why in a future article.) Anyway... I found that an unscrupulous former landlord had cheated me out of quite a lot of money, by contriving a spurious reason to keep hold of my deposit.

That night, I reached under my bed for a large cardboard box, and cut through the tape that had kept it sealed up. My alter-ego was stored inside.

Putting on some underwear, my heart thudded the way it hadn't done for years. It was incredibly erotic, delivering a familiar yet unusually intense 'hit'. I masturbated, enjoyed a fantastic climax, and then lost interest in the clothes, as I always do.

The addiction was back.

This is the curse of tranny heroin: the memory of it lingers at the back of your mind. You could stay 'clean' for years, and then relapse into the dark, blissful world of the cross-dresser.

Like Oscar Wilde wrote, "I can resist anything but temptation."

Subsequent hits of tranny heroin are less intense, usually... but they keep you going. They allow you to operate on a more-or-less normal basis.

Different people take their tranny heroin in different ways. Some wear knickers to work. Some put photos of themselves on the internet. Some read or write tranny fiction... there are all kinds of delivery mechanisms, and the effective dosage varies, from one addict to another.

Unlike real heroin, a lot of people are immune to the tranny stuff, and this might make it hard for them to understand how and why it has the effect it does. For starters, the female half of the population will never understand why cross-dressing is an erotic act... and a lot of males don't get excited by it either.

Fortunately, unlike real heroin, the tranny stuff doesn't cause physical harm... although the addiction can still be harmful. For example, going in search of a 'fix' (outside the home or relationship) may expose the tranny to danger. That 'fix' could also involve ridicule, considerable expense, and perhaps infidelity.

Sorry, wives and girlfriends... but your transvestite is not rational when he feels the strongest urges of his addiction. I chose to call it 'heroin' for a reason.

More about my own experiences with tranny heroin in my next article.

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