Confessions of a part-time girl

Tribes
12:37 p.m. -- 2008-06-27

It's a subtle and complex world out there. You'd think that transvestites would feel themselves to be enough of a minority that they wouldn't try to subdivide themselves, right?

Wrong. There are all kinds of transvestites, and they display a wide variety of different behaviour. And in an unusually clear displaying of their girlish natures, transvestites manage to be incredibly bitchy about those who follow a different crossdressing path. And... in a spirit of honesty, I suppose I should say that I'm no exception.

I don't really understand the age regression thing, for example. I don't want to dress up like a little girl. I'm a bit old to be Alice in Wonderland, and I'd feel stupid. I'm not sure I'd want to sit and have a chat with Alice either. (It's probably a struggle for Alice's wife, too...)

Next up, why would I want to look like a hooker? Isn't that kind of rude to the women that we're supposed to admire, somehow? I always wanted to be a classy girl; my lacy stocking tops are for my enjoyment, not everyone else's.

The PVC thing? Well, maybe... but only for a sex game. I'd quite like to be forced to wear something quite degrading; ordered around by a domineering female... but that doesn't mean I'd want to be out on the street or in a club, so dressed. Ditto if that game included a little light bondage... in fact, it's be lovely to completely lose control, with my significant other dressing me up and restraining me. Wow. But what happens in the bedroom (or cellar) stays in the bedroom (or cellar).

There are transvestites, I'm told, who go their own merry way, wearing a wedding dress on every occasion. Sounds a bit too much like 'Miss Haversham' for my taste! Best of luck to you, though.

Would I dress up as a French maid? Yes, I supppose so, if it was a game that my lover wanted to play... although I'm certain I'd never pay to be humiliated at the hands of a professional dominatrix. And if the aim was to go to a fancy dress party in drag, I'd rather be Lara Croft from 'Tomb Raider'.

Uh? But she wears shorts and hiking boots! And plays with guns, and punches bad guys! What's feminine about that?

I can't explain, except to say that it's a complex mixture of self-image, the actual image that others see, the aspirational (perhaps unobtainable) image, and the purpose of that image. (We haven't talked abot drag queens, for example: their motivation for cross-dressing will be very different to that of a heterosexual transvestite.)

Anyway, the transvestite subculture is full of all kinds of sub-subcultures, and girlie feelings may or may not be the focus of the activity. In BDSM, for example, cross-dressing might be used as a means of control or humiliation, but that's unrelated to the motivations of most cross-dressers. (It probably receives disproportionate emphasis on the internet because it's a more saleable commodity.)

If I appear to have criticised cross-dressers whose choice of outfit is not the same as my own, I'm sorry. I sought only to illustrate that there is no simple means of categorising the transvestite. Even in the mainstream, transvestite fashion is not the same as female fashion. The 'rules' are quite a bit different, and the styles are too. Not least because our bodies are different shapes. The male is generally taller, but doesn't necessarily have longer legs. Much of the extra height comes from the torso, and different body shapes demand different rules. Some things that look fine on a woman are a lot harder to get away with as a transvestite. (A drop waist dress being a pet hate of mine, on me at least.)

As a transvestite, you're already breaking one of the biggest taboos of the western world, so is it any wonder that many of them will break other unwritten 'rules' of taste or common sense as well. A woman who sets about painting her home will select flats; a transvestite will do it in heels.

The trick is to avoid slipping over, breaking your leg and being whisked off in an ambulance while you're in a dress.

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